Thursday, February 28, 2013

Sisterhood of the Travelling Pants

I recently found this book at the children's book fair at our library. It was so popular when it came out I was intrigued for a while and also noticed friends of mine referencing it here and there even though we had all moved beyond YA lit. Still, a good book is a good book so I got it for myself and enjoyed it.

It's the story of four teenage girls who are best friends. Their Moms all met in a pregnancy aerobics class and they were all born in the same month. While their personalities are different and they don't all attend the same school their bond is very strong. The story is about the summer between freshman and sophomore year when they are all apart for the first time and for a long time. One of them buys a pair of thrift store jeans on a whim and they realize that they all look good in the jeans despite different body types (just suspend your disbelief about that part and go with it). They send the jeans from person to person throughout the summer using them as strength when they need the support of their friends.

It's such a quick read I'm not going to summarize the four girls stories, but it got me thinking about girls friendships. What is it with the foursome? By 7th grade I was part of a foursome, although I had another BFF at a different school who wasn't friends with the other 3. In 11th grade we moved across the Atlantic and I found a new foursome, but my old one fell apart. Even though I was the quiet wishy-washy one, I had been the glue. 3 of us are still close, the fourth has faded away.

I'm still Facebook friends with my European foursome but contact is rare since we live so far apart. In my local day to day, I don't have a foursome or even a local call them about anything kind of friend :(

Sex and the City was about 4 women, the yayas are a foursome. Telling my daughters about the book (because they wondered why I bought a book for me at the kids book fair) Little Reader realized that she was part of a foursome of which she is also the glue. Little Hugger (in 1st grade) is in a threesome, but as my husband and I joked they are interviewing for a fourth.

All this got me wondering why girls are in foursomes. I asked my husband about guy relationships and while guys have lots of friends the real close ones are always one on one in his mind. His theory of the foursome is that girls like to talk and over analyze, and if there are two it's not very interesting. If there are three, there are always two talking about/siding against the third so that doesn't work. I pretty much agree on that one. Four is good as you have lots of options - different pairings, or if there is a threesome get together one night, the lone one out doesn't feel bad as the tables will be turned another time. Not bad analysis I must say. I don't agree with all of it, but some I do. I don't remember us gossiping about the others in their absence, we gossiped about those outside our group.

Still I'm looking for my adult foursome. I live in a town with lots of people who grew up together so it can be hard to break in to the cliques. I have friends but it's hard to find new friends at 39 especially as an introvert. I've been trying to make girls' nights out more of a priority, and reaching out more to other Moms who seem good fits. Part of the problem is that since I met my husband when I was 18 and never dated after that, and finding new friends isn't that different from dating. Again as much as I know a lot of women hate jewelry parties, part of the reason I am having my Lia Sophia party is to try and get a chance to connect with more people. Even if they don't come to the party, at least I will have reached out and made the first move.

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